Hillary’s Monica Lewinsky Costume and Other Must-See Halloween Treats
![Celebrities-Wearing-Same-Halloween-Costumes[1]](https://earwaxdissertation.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/celebrities-wearing-same-halloween-costumes1.jpg)
“Nothing wrong here,” said Jared from Subway sandwich fame.
My Halloween costume for 2015. The only thing I will turn on are maggots.
This corpse bag is a step up in terms of creepiness versus all the predictable cotton-candy-cute costumes I wore as a child: (Warning: I may lose you readers here via BLAHHHHH…) ballerina, French maid, generic pre-Disney princess (of what I still haven’t determined), Alice in Wonderland (sporting Frida Kahlo eyebrows), and seriously pissed-off little beaner girl (the year my parents decided we wouldn’t participate in the devil’s party).
Not the first nor the last clown this Dolly Parton princess will be escorted by. Fake hair courtesy Grandma’s wigs.
How I wish I could, for once, look sexy on Halloween…on Christmas…on New Years… and on National Cat Day too for that matter. But I wish for a lot of things. The following are celebrity costumes I wish I could see on other celebrities.
A) Miley Cyrus as Helen Keller
B) Pope Francis as a skateboarding Tony Hawk
Coming soon to a skate shop near you.
C) Clock Boy as the iWatch
D) Caitlyn Jenner as Bruce Jenner
E) Barbara Walters as Whoopie Goldberg
Helen Keller feeling up First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. Miley Cyrus should take some lessons from a master!
F) El Chapo as Donald Trump
G) Justin Beiber mocking Justin Beiber
El Chapo and the Don bust a move. The best pinatas money and drugs can buy.
H) Beyoncé as a bucket of KFC (original recipe chicken)
Southern Fried: Looks like Beyoncé loves to roll around with her chicken.
I) Hillary Clinton as Monica Lewinsky
J) The Geico Lizard as Flo from Progressive Insurance
K) Oprah as Bill Cosby
Oprah channeling Bill Cosby…that’s no joke.
L) Kayne West as Kim Kardashian (ironically, this seems to be slowly happening anyway with each fashion event they attend)
HONORABLE MENTIONS a.k.a. The Ones My Husband Declared “Crappy”
M) Snoopy as Grumpy Cat
N) a copper penny as rapper 50 Cent
O) Tom Brady as a La-Z-boy recliner
Good old Grumpy Cat…too busy spending his millions on gold kitty litter.
P) My 2001 Hundai Elantra dressed as 2015 Tesla electric car
Q) The Swiffer Mop as Paris Hilton
R) Oscar the Grouch as anti-gay-marriage activist Kim Davis
Slimey gets hitched. Grouches be haters.
HAPPY HALLOWEENIE!!!
When to Take Lamar Odom Meming
You know you’ve had a rough week when your home care nurse runs her Honda into the side of your house (luckily for you, she missed me by a couple cluttered rooms)
Home care gone wild? The perks of nursing me to health.
or your favorite ex-Kardashian star is recovering from too much penile performance drugs. So where should one turn to in order to take back some control? One turns to the healing art of MEMING (or MEMEING?). Somehow, I was like many of you out there, recycling the same old Grumpy Cat memes, totally oblivious to taking creative power into my own hands. But a scary thing happened on the way to my smartphone yesterday: I MEMED UP.
Though I was tempted to upload my own photos of ex-boyfriends or strange animals (same difference) to meme, I wanted a real challenge. I would only use the generic photos my “free” meme app would throw at me.
Here are the 20 rookie memes (in no particular ranking order) I came up with in less than 2 hours to get Lamar up and “functioning” again. Feel free to pick and recycle the worst of them. Leave a comment as to your favorites.
NOTE: If any of these memes happen to look or sound like any other previous memes floating on the internet, it is by sheer bad luck on their part (aka “coincidence”).
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Earwax Dissertation 
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